cross-posted at phukk.blogspot.com

Timbaland produced Duran Duran track featuring Justin Timberlake. And I SHIT YOU NOT Nelly Furtado is recording a track on their new album recently renamed Red Carpet Massacre. What the fuck is up with the triplets of fucking pop these days? Jeez. I don't know, I'm actually uncertain as to whether or not Furtado was available to do the song but Simon LeBon seemed very confident that she'd be included. Shit. Justin, Tim, and Nelly have each other on speed-dial - they're practically a package deal.

Anyway, things have shifted a lot since Duran Duran announced that they were working with Justin Timberlake and Timbaland as producers for a few songs on their new album - thirteenth studio release, sheesh. Nate Hills, Timbaland's "protege," produced most of the album proving that it's not what you know, it's who. From the get-go it was announced that Jay Tee would be singing on a track entitled, "Nite Runner," and the album's previous incarnation Nite Runner was to come out this summer. Due to Andy Taylor's second departure from Dee Dee {creative differences again, this time less about genres and more about management and perhaps in part because of the band's decision to include Timberlake in songwriting and maybe something to do with Epic Records}, half of the formerly eponymous album had to be scrapped.

Red Carpet Massacre "drops" October 30th. It also includes a song called "Skin Diver"?! Also, though "Nite Runner" is their lead single, Entertainment Weekly was given another Timberlake-written song, "Falling Down" as their single {streaming here}. Epic Records seems to like fucking up left and right.

It's okay, I guess: Nite Runner

Also, Simon Le Bon has the best life ever. He's married to Yasmin Parvaneh.

Sweet taste saccharine, hokay?

Anneclaire - Want It (Club Remix)

Take your crabby ass home

Anything 2 Live Crew hates I hate too.

2 Live Crew - Fuck a Gang

Fuck a gang, join Kids Club instead.

2 Live Crew - Fuck Martinez

Fuck Martinez, that rat bastard. If it weren't for my obvious bitch-madeness I would shove my shoe so far up his ass that my shoelaces would come out of his nose and make it look like he has a ridiculous mustache.

sh-sh-shake sh-sh-shake

here's a little mash up i did for a Kids Club DJ set on friday night.

Justice vs. M.I.A. - Phantom Done Gun (Kids Club Edit)


first line is a killer:

the glamour feat. jon james and john swan - shake that

Machine <3 Man

This kind of stuff makes me want to cry.

to those of you who have tickets to daft punk in berkeley, it's going to be awesome and i'll see you there. to those of you who waited because you weren't sure whether daft punk was worth the money, sorry bitches i think you might have made the biggest mistake of your life.

klaxons - gravity's rainbow (kavinsky remix)

the rapture - get myself into it (sebastiAn remix)

sebastiAn, kavinsky and the rapture are all opening for daft punk next friday.

Meandering As Fuck

I'm going to take you on a little journey, to show you how fucked it is to be inside my head. At least, concerning music and the internet. So brace yourself, please.

See I'm up all night and I'm delirious by morning and I find myself at The House I Grew Up In. I'm watching something on HBO {we don't have HBO at my house, nor do we have a goddamn 42" plasma tv} so I leave my ipod to charge on the Bose Sounddock in the kitchen. It's charging away and all of a sudden I have to watch every episode of John From Cincinnati. As the house wakes up and I start to drift off, my mother's ipod can be heard, blaring strains of Death Cab for Cutie, Earth Wind and Fire, and The Spice Girls. I veto her choices, mainly to be contrary, and as she and my father gear up to scooter around town Ferraby Lionheart comes on. My little brother Calvin and I are eating food in the kitchen, enjoying this fucker immensely when I realize that I never did the legwork on finding out who this charming musician/songwriter was.

{Top, Ferraby Lionheart; Bottom the far right, Calvin Rudy}

Ferraby Lionheart makes music that allows you to smile at heartbreaking things, ruminate on some ridiculous shit, and generally reminds you that music is what separates us from the animals. Jon Brion gave him the seal of approval, his band was great while it lasted, and he's got a pretty good attitude. Here is the song that stood shoulder to shoulder with me, smirking as I appreciated the weather and the company and raucous group laughter. I know I'm late on posting it, as his EP has been kicking ass since '06 and his soon-to-be released album Catch The Brass Ring has been getting whispered and slurred about all around the internet.Swear, it's hellof good.

Arright so here comes the ridiculous part of the post, where I just tell you to buckle your seatbelt or put on your helmet or maybe just clutch a pillow or something. Shit will now commence being meandering and nonsensical.

The Beast's Brain + A Slow Computer:

Site One, Ferraby Lionheart
Cruising through the tricky flash, reading his hipster approximation of an "About Me."
Hipster though he may be, dude still manages to be fairly charming. Aww fuck, he name-dropped Jon Brion, it's going to be really hard not to like him. Hey fuck this little arrow up and down scrolling bullshit, utilize a whole page. Arright, let's see your upcoming shows. Hell yes! Cafe Du Nord, August 3rd. Store that away in the memory bank. Man, who the fuck is his record company? Nettwerk? Hmm. Click.

Site Two, Nettwerk
Annoying pop-up window "radio" playing Sarah MacLaughlin or however the fuck you spell her name.
Fuck THAT, Nettwerk. You have pretty much lost all credibility, before I've even seen your main site. Dammit. It's a little bit pretty. Wait, what the FUCK? Chantal Kreviazuk, Datarock, Kinky...what the hell is this place? The Format, Sara McLachlan? This place is a black hole. I can't stay too long. I'm so confused. NO, fuck this. I'll explore this later, I'm just here for Mr. Lionheart. Well, I didn't need to visit for this. Nice shirts though. I wish I wasn't broke. Wait, what the hell is this little link at the bottom that says "Chulo Pony"? OH NO, it's a fucking clothing site. Back arrow, quick! Jesus Christ I feel like Indiana fucking Jones after that. Dodged a fucking poison dart. Oh. They're Canadian. I get it now.

Site Three, Cafe Du Nord
Yeah yeah, secret Spoon Rogue Wave concert. Blah blah blah. Let me get at that calendar page.
St. Vincent and Death Vessel before Lionheart? From what I remember, all Death Vessel really has is a gimmick and some clever song titles. Damn, what the hell? I mean, St. Vincent can get top billing sure. That girl was being murmured about for a second. Polyphonic Spree and something else. Hmm. Click.


Site Four, St. Vincent's Myspace
Let's hear "Marry Me."
If I was really into these slow girl singers with lilting voices, she'd probably hit the spot or something. Pretty songs, but I'm not really in the mood. I'll be she's really great in concert, all concentration and endearingly coy breathy speaking voice and self-deprecating giggles that lead into half-explanations for songs. Ew. Fucking Sufjan. Ha. She's got her own little blog she doesn't update too much. What label is she on? Click.

Site Five, Beggars Banquet
Current artists page.
Nice. I'll file this one away in the mental bank to check out later when I give a shit. Ooh, you know what I want to hear? Mother. I guess Mother Mother, thanks to copyright bullshit.

Site Six, Mother Mother
Weird updated site. Let's see your bio.
Ha! Redekopp. I remember reading something about that in the last bio, but this site used to be so much worse than it is now. Which isn't saying too much. Man, I wish I wasn't saving my money, I'd totally support these guys by buying a t-shirt. Arright, take me to your myspace, I want some music.

Site Seven, Mother Mother's Myspace
Yeah man, I haven't heard "Touch Up" yet. Click.
Excellent. These guys are still great. It's a shame their closest date is Portland, and it's today. I'm surprised I like these singers together. This is a good song. I need to get this album. Later, when I'm okay with spending money. Uh oh, I'm getting restless. Oh, man. Last Gang Records. Duh I'm going to click on you.

Site Eight, Last Gang Records Myspace
Don't mind me, I'm just here to click on your legitimate website. Excuse me, can I just squeeze on through here? Thanks.

Site Nine, Last Gang Records
Jeez. Inundated with information and visuals and all sorts of shit. Where do I even start?
Man, this happens every time I get on this site. It's a little bit too much stylized interesting information for me to deal with all at once. I'll get stoned and deal with this site later {Psh. How many times have I made that mental note?}. Oooh, I forgot to check on Sonic Living for this Ferraby Lionheart show. Click.

Site Ten, Sonic Living
Oh. New friend request. Great. Now I've got, like, seven friends. {Hint: get on this site, be my friend}
Swell. Thanks to the internet, seven people might know that I'll maybe attend this concert.

Best mix ever?

The Audioporno boys have outdone themselves again with their fourth and supposedly final installment of the 'Top of the Pops' mixes. You're going to have to listen for yourself, but this is one hellof a mix. It's seriously a 38 minute eargasm.

Have a good 4th, don't get too faded.

Audioporno 'Top of the Pops 4'

Here's the tracklisting:
20 Fingers - Short Dick Man (Shino rmx)
Twista ft. Pharrell - Give It Up
Bonde Do Role - Marina Do Bairro
The Glamour - Get Into It
Terry Lynn - Kingstonlogic
Stink Mitt - Pimp It
M.I.A. - Boyz
Shy Child - NWS (Buraka Som Sistema rmx)
Pase Rock - Sexy MF (E-Marces “fuckin’ in the shower“ overnoise edit)
Pharoahe Monch - Body Baby (Count Of Monte Cristal & Sinden rmx)
Bonde Do Role - Office Boy (Shir Kahn rmx)
Bobmo - To The Bobmobile
Puzique - Thomas
Sinden - Haterzzzzzz
Sebastien Tellier - Chivers As A Female
Spektrum - Kinda New (Dirty South 07 rmx)
Van Rivers - Kill The Disco (Meaty minimal dub mix)
Philipe De Boyar - Future Now
DatA - Aerius Light

Check out Bobmo's 'To the Bobmobile' with the 'Gasolina' bass and the 'Office Boy' vocals, AHHHHH so good!

For all you playa playas

I actually think R. Kelly might have been exposed to high levels of mercury as a child and suffered serious brain damage. Some of his lines are just too fucked up and mindless to have come from a sane person. In his latest track, 'Sex Planet' ,R. Kelly describes a sexually explicit space odyssey that he goes on with a girl. Kells says something about putting his rocket ship in a black hole. Everyone knows that sticking your pecker in a black hole would probably not be that comfortable and would most likely lead to some serious genital disfigurement.

Without further ado I present to you 'Sex Planet'. Sorry for having back to back posts containing R. Kelly, but it would have been a shame to not post this song.

R. Kelly - Sex Planet

Oooooooh Baby

Whether or not you know who Alan Braxe is by name, you've most likely heard at least one song that he has had some part in creating. Beginning in the 90's with his release of 'Vertigo', Braxe has been crafting soulful club ballads with an emphasis on the filter house sound. Braxe is the instrumental genius behind tracks like Stardust's 1998 smash hit "Music Sounds Better With You", (reaching #1 on US dance charts), "Intro", and "Rubicon" (featured on Erlend Oye - DJ Kicks). Even today with French electro far removed from it's roots, Braxe continues to make second millenium friendly French house.

Here are a couple of must-have Alan Braxe tracks. Some of them were produced with the help of his longtime friend Fred Falke, Daft Punk's Thomas Bangalter, and French vocalist Benjamin Diamond.


The Paradise - In Love With You

Alan Braxe and Fred Falke - Intro (the Running)

Stardust - Music Sounds Better With You

Note: 'Intro' is not actually an intro track. No idea why it's named that way.